Have you ever had that one person you felt like you could talk about absolutly anything with, no judgment but they would still give you honest feedback about the situation? Well i just recently lost that person. He lives in Ohio and i met him on July 26th 2010, i was visiting a friend and i met him at a party.We instantly hit it off and talked the whole time. AfterI left we started talking and became instant friends, knowing that it could probably never turn into anything els becuase of the distance. I would tell him everything and we would talk constantly, through texts and phone calls. We then both developed feeling greater than friendship and we both thought we could make this work becuase if we like each other enough it would have to work. We were doing good for about a month, counting down the days to spring break when i would next get to see him. Then one night he drunkily texts me and is talking about some other girl. I was crushed, i didnt really know what was going on becuase he had shut down and stopped talking to me.
I was so hurt by that night and i didnt like it. I didnt like the fact that i couldnt be there to know what was going on and i wasnt there to see him. I decided that the long distance thing wasnt for me. I hated that he could hurt me so much from so far away. So i told the guy i didnt want to do it anymore and that we should just be friends.
Now I have a boyfriend and we started dating a month ago, and i really like him. He is the sweetest person, open about his feelings would never hurt me or close me out. But the guy from Ohio decides to tell me his true feelings for me, through a drunk text he tells me he loves me. I thought maybe that i could have possily loved him but he was so far away so i blocked those feelings. I still wanted to be his friend though i still care about him. How could i not we spent so much of our time talking to each other .
Now he tells me that i forgot about him and that i never really cared about him. We never really talk now and i kinda miss him. So i want to know can you be just friends with a guy? I have in the past 2 months have had four of my guy friends tell me they have feelings for me, and telling them i just want to be friends is bringing me down when i have to see the hurt looks on thier faces. So can you truly be just friends with a guy?
You can definitely be just friends with a guy. However, it all depends on the individual situation. See, where you ladies enjoy socializing and having multiple people there for you, guys think a little different. Generally speaking, guys will not put time into a relationship unless they can see a future of some kind going further into the relationship. The guy won't tell you how he feels though for fear of rejection. So, he'll play "friend" until he sees an opportunity for advancement, or until he finds another interest. There are plenty of guys out there that are willing to listen to you and be your friend that don't operate along the aforementioned criteria. You just have to become a good judge of the situation, in my opinion. Given the scenario, I'd say be very careful with the Ohio guy. Because he shut down upon finding another interest, I'd say he's shooting for more than friends and that could become a conflict of interest with the new boyfriend. Also, notice how he texts extremes while drunk and accuses you of "not caring." I foresee more confessions through a drunken stupor that may ruin a moment with your current boyfriend. Just my opinion though =)
ReplyDeleteYeah you can be friends with a guy, but the guy from Ohio doesn't sound like he has ever had a mature relationship. Also may have a problem with alchohol. The only thing I disagree with Josh about (and it's really not a disagreement) is that you should be careful with the Ohio guy. I think you should just cut ties with him. He will probably just get drunk and mess with your head more.
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